Patterns in the Deep Inner Mind—Self-Doubt, Self-Worth, Not Enough

We’ve been talking in this blog about patterns, samskaras and why you do things over and over Let’s focus now on one pattern or samskara: Not Enough.

Not enough….
Money
Health
Love
Beauty
Intelligence
Self esteem
And you can name the rest.

So many people torture or browbeat themselves (is it most people?) with individual variations of “I am a worthless idiot.” It’s deep inside so many people.

But why? Where did it come from? From school, parents (and they had the same problem), ancestors, our own seeming failures, our traumas, from all those who’ve left us and hurt us, from former lifetimes, from the media, the collective consciousness, from religions… and on and on.

I’ve seen so many fantastic people who are accomplished in many ways go through times in their lives when all they’ve been to themselves is Worthless Idiots. Obviously this is a very strong program in the deep inner mind. And truly, it’s a pretty pathetic one, if you think about it. With Right Understanding and Brilliant Cognitions, you’ll remember that your true origins are in the cosmos—and you’re created from the highest of the high. Therefore you’re made of the same stuff as the Universe. But we forget and bemoan our fate.

You can call The Worthless Idiot a subpersonality, and we are all filled with them. I used to have one I called Poor Pitiful Pearl, which is the name of a doll that used to exist in days gone by.

Poor Pitiful Pearl wore a babushka and a house dress, and with her head in her hands, she bemoaned her fate, “Poor me. Life has given me the scraps instead of the treasures, (which was so far from the truth, it’s worth noting for its irony.) I think I got the pattern from my grandmother, and though I loved my grandmother totally, she knew how to do this pattern very skillfully. (I take full responsibility, however, for taking it on.)

I came to recognize the presence of Poor Pitiful Pearl in my consciousness, when I began looking deeply within, and I saw her with my inner vision, head in her hands, wearing her babushka and house dress.

I was flabbergasted when she came into my awareness. That was my first step in healing this subpersonality by transforming her existence. I’ll be talking a lot more about healing all this in future posts.

You hear people mentioning their delusions about their supposed identities in everyday discourse. “Oh, I’m so stupid. What a fool I am. I could never do that. I don’t have that ability. That’s the story of my life. I’m such a Worthless Idiot!”

These patterns in the deep inner mind have been wearing us down, sabotaging our well being, making us sick, and standing in the way of our destiny. We have to do something about it. We have to reconfigure the neural pathways of our brains. We have to remember that we have the ability to make a true shift, create a breakthrough, and live in another level of consciousness.

But first we have to make the acquaintance of The Worthless Idiot, to view him or her from the state of the Witness, to view dispassionately and yet compassionately (and both are simultaneously possible.) These voices are NOT YOU. They are figments of your imagination, patterns in your deep inner mind, guests who’ve come to “sit at your table” for a little while. (Thank you, Rumi, for that last one.) Yes, Rumi tells us to invite them in. Let them come in and sit at your table. Entertain them for a moment. See that they may be Guides from Beyond, as it may be that they have messages for you—or at least one message that could very well change the course of your life. You are NOT the Idiot or Pearl or The Stupid One. These are just guests in your house, and you can effectively tell them that they’re not here for an extended stay. You don’t have to have them forever in the hotel of your consciousness, and there are beautiful ways of not only reducing their stay, but of eliminating them forever. More about this soon.

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